I am at a turning point in my life where I am not certain if I am walking on the up hill or the down hill. I am so busy looking at my feet then I hit a wall. I dread being confined to my own head. Ice packs and lots of pillows. Seeking comfort in pillows and blankets is not doing my body any favors. I sleep in fits based on where my pain is each day. In my daughters I see the pain I had in my youth. I am blessed we have each other to support rather then deny pain. I know it well. Pain is not a very nice imaginary friend, but it will stick with you till the end.
I fight my pain to help my daughters learn to fight theirs. I see my life revealed in the turned table of Mother and Daughter…maybe more of a role change adventure. My heart breaks seeing in them the pain I had at their age. They are going thru the hoops with doctors armed with the knowledge that was unknown in the generation of my mother and myself.
Knowledge is power. The more we know about ourselves gives us the gumption to prevent, protect, and proceed. I am proud to call them my daughters! They are stoic.. stubborn.. driven to be the best.. patient.. kind.. loving.. and.. amazing young women.
Pain is a part of life, but it can drown your soul if you decide to hate rather then love unconditionally. It is so awesome to see in my daughters bits of my grandparents they never were blessed to know in person. I even can forgive my younger me because with my mother’s eyes I cry for the child who never knew how to be a child.